your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Dick very happy bro
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
