Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
