You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Randomize
