All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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