You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
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Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
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