you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
