just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
