He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
what day is it and did you see me today?
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
