I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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