i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
