I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
