I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Randomize
