I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
These 21 People Came Up With Hilarious Excuses For Their Hickies
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.