K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
19 People Confess The Craziest Sex Act They’ve Ever Participated In
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
17 People Admit the Worst Thing They’ve Done To a Server
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
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