..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
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