Texts From Last Night

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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  Yeah, i think she was German or something.

  (1-405): View more from Oklahoma

  No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.

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  (405): Yeah, i think she was German or something. (1-405): No dude, she's just got a speech impediment. http://tfl.nu/y6oj
  Replies (4) Good night (799) Bad night (1263)
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  (514): View more from Quebec

  I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.

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  (514): I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened. http://tfl.nu/bvmz
  Replies (154) Good night (628) Bad night (2763)
• Favorite

  (702): View more from Nevada

  You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.

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  (702): You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever. http://tfl.nu/mih5
  Replies (13) Good night (5248) Bad night (1339)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.

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  (206): I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before. http://tfl.nu/t0my
  Replies (21) Good night (1052) Bad night (5964)
• Favorite

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...

  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers

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  (781): he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness... (413): how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers http://tfl.nu/137y
  Replies (10) Good night (5660) Bad night (1020)
• Favorite

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar

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  (781): You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar http://tfl.nu/4b1n
  Replies (6) Good night (2266) Bad night (1013)
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  (254): View more from Texas

  I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.

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  (254): I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah. http://tfl.nu/4ff0
  Replies (18) Good night (900) Bad night (5534)
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.

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  (937): Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it. http://tfl.nu/m5np
  Replies (9) Good night (3617) Bad night (1070)
• Favorite

  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed

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  (902): There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed http://tfl.nu/rsjn
  Replies (8) Good night (2440) Bad night (1332)
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.

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  (215): we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me. http://tfl.nu/nfi8
  Replies (8) Good night (5163) Bad night (974)
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  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.

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  (918): he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy. http://tfl.nu/so4p
  Replies (5) Good night (1297) Bad night (2726)
• Favorite

  (805): View more from California

  i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party

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  (805): i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party http://tfl.nu/d8gr
  Replies (4) Good night (1940) Bad night (514)
• Favorite

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham

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  (603): We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham http://tfl.nu/9szh
  Replies (7) Good night (979) Bad night (379)
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  (906): View more from Michigan

  I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.

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  (906): I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7. http://tfl.nu/m2ux
  Replies (0) Good night (473) Bad night (242)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.

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  (303): Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling. http://tfl.nu/esxc
  Replies (1) Good night (527) Bad night (249)

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