this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
How drunk are you?
Completed.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
