Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
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