No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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