i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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