He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
We left an ass print on the piano.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
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