I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
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