I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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