I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize