I wish my penis had an off switch
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume