i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
They should really pass out barf bags in church
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?