Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed