I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
25 People Confess Their Favorite Way To Annoy Their Significant Other
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
These 21 Women Share What Sexual Harassment In The Military Is Really Like
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers