my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
