Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
