the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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