A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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