Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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