I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
