butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
