Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
