Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
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life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
you inspire me to be a worse person
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
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What happened to fro yo and sex?
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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