no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
