I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
