Im at strip club and am horny
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
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