TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
