But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Randomize
