Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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