Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
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