do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
