Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
