So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
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