You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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