If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize