Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Randomize
