My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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