i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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