I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
I am in a vortex of obligation.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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