I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
