Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Randomize
