Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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