New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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