There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
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