I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Randomize
