i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
This couple is walking their pig around campus
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize