Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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