i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
